Desk Bunny

Sep. 9th, 2017 05:10 pm
spikethemuffin: (Default)
(tune: "Code Monkey," Jonathan Coulton)

Desk Bunny wake up, work out, paint face,
Desk Bunny go to job.
Desk Bunny dodge a creepy compliment
From married manager Rob.

Rob say he like her with no make-up on,
(Dude not have clue.)
Ask her about "the deal with S & M."
What that to you?

Desk Bunny she
wonder where that come from,
Was that something she somehow invite?
Desk Bunny she rictus-y grin,
Desk Bunny she hide crawling skin.

Desk Bunny professional.
Desk Bunny work on her MBA,
Desk Bunny a feminist,
Gonna change your stupid world,
She rule it someday.

Desk Bunny work like cowboy octopus,
Twenty-six phone lines.
Desk Bunny polish HR's side-project;
Make those e-mails shine.
Oh, no, got incoming developer.
Sweater make him drool.
Code Monkey crush on all that's carbon-based,
Desk Bunny not a fool.

Desk Bunny she
turn down Code Monkey's soda-bribe,
She have price but it not that.
Code Monkey treat friendship
so cheap,
Desk Bunny so tired but
Won't weep.

Desk Bunny professional.
Desk Bunny work on her MBA,
Desk Bunny a feminist,
Gonna change your stupid world,
She rule it someday.

Desk Bunny she spelling in the shower:
That Aretha song.
Want to send Code Monkey "Doctor Nerdlove" link,
But HR say that wrong.
Desk Bunny read Sheepfarmer's Daughter
And The Beauty Myth,
She hope that separate paths of heart and head,
False choice made up by Sith.

Desk Bunny is damned if do anything,
But she she double-damn├ęd if she don't.
Desk Bunny know that shit
Ain't right,
Desk Bunny can't win but she
Can fight.

Desk Bunny a feminist.
Desk Bunny work on her MBA,
Desk Bunny professional,
And she gonna change your stupid world,
Feel human someday.

[EDIT: changed this from "Desk Human," which implies Code Monkey is not. Suggestions for two-syllable words implying a feminine narrator, or opinions whether "Desk Jockey" would work better, are welcome.]
spikethemuffin: (Gardening)
I just can't close my eyes when you lean in to kiss my lips.
I tap out S.O.S. when you touch my fingertips.
I really wish I could fake it, baby.
But baby, I am not going to make it.

I've lost that lovin' feeling.
My heart is broken, reeling.
I've lost that loving feeling.
It is gone, gone, gone.
Whoa.

My shoulders tense up when
I hear your voice come near.
I shudder at your touch,
Honey, it's not lust, it's fear.

I really wish I could force it, baby.
But baby, I bet you're sick of this horseshit.

I've lost that loving feeling.
I've lost that loving feeling.
I've lost that loving feeling.
And it's gone, gone, gone.
This whole scene is wrong.
Whoa.

Baby, baby, you'd get down on your knees for me.
But baby, baby, you know we're both better off free.
You deserve something sweet, something rare, something strong, something true, something good, something live, something real...
Don't mock what we had by clinging on to something you and I don't feel.

We've lost that lovin' feeling.
Whoa, lost that loving feeling.
We lost that loving feeling.
And it won't come back.
No, it can't come back.
No.

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