I bristle less when people say, "Team Peeta or Team Gale" than when they do, "Team Edward or Team Jacob?".
It's not because I liked the Hunger Games trilogy rather more than I liked the Twilight series. (In fact, I kind of resent The Hunger Games for being so addictive to me. I want to think of myself as mature, dammit! An intellectual! And these are YOUNG ADULT books. Their viewpoint character and their author is FEMALE. [Ever notice how the sort of people who sniff at you for reading "childish" books/ books that are actual fun to read/ fiction tend to universally and unilaterally weight their authorial preferences at least 90% toward books by and about males? I'd call for a Lysistrata action, but it's not social justice when you're refusing to sleep with men who judge others for reading Robin McKinley; it's just common sense.] They're FIRST PERSON. It's the opposite of self-respect, reading those books, the intellect equivalent of Jack-in-the-Box. And yet, I couldn't stop--- just like when I'm faced with those horrifying grease sandwiches Jack-in-the-Box helpfully labels as "tacos.")
It's because, when choosing between Edward and Jacob, there is no option for Bella choosing to love herself and let the boys grow up for a bit. Oh, sure Edward makes chin music about letting her grow up and buys her way into a prestigious college (where she will be sure to feel miserably out of her depth and profoundly alone but that's not by design, oh, no), but if he hasn't learned to handle ornery teenagers who say "I'll kill myself if you don't sleep with me, so there!", after eighty-ish years of high school. he's going to have a ROUGH time with parenthood. I personally think he could have done so, had he not let his hormones' self-interest and the author's believing "struggle" to be synonymous with "plot" put blinders on him.)
Whereas when Katniss chooses, she is choosing between aspects of herself, life paths. "Telling the real from the false, transcending the games of others," versus "surviving and subverting the enemy's tactics," that's her choice. It may be a false one, and in reality choosing a partner by projecting aspects of yourself onto them is "That one weird trick to make EVERYTHING SUCK FOR BOTH OF YOU FOREVER," but it at least makes a stab in the direction of letting Katniss choose who Katniss wants to be, rather than just having her yell, "Ovaries! Turn around! WE LEFT THE BRAIN ON TOP OF THE CAR!", as I kept hoping Bella would.
P.S. The Big Death at the end of Mockingjay? That's Snow fucking with her, not Coin's tactics at all. Arguably, Coin MUST get out of the way for non-manipulative regimes to happen, but I don't think it was she. Remember, Snow was dying anyway, deprived of his antidotes, but his addiction to power drove him to mess with things anyway.
P.P.S. IF you read the Twilight books, do yourself a favor. Use a really good bookmark and do one small thing you've been putting off every time Meyer uses a variant of the phrase "a long moment." Four books in, you'll own the world.