spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-24 05:39 pm

Plot twist

JUDAS was actually the Son of God and the savior of humanity the whole time. Get on it, Shyamalan.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-23 09:44 pm

The Parietal Procrastinatory Paralysis of a Preponderance of Pressing Priorities

This! Is! ADHD!

Me: I need to clean.
Brain: Cleaning makes you happy and relaxed, you selfish bitch. It also presents you as something you are not. You let the apartment get messy, so if you clean it, you're hiding your innate messiness!
Me: Wait, is that a thing? How? If I don't clean, how will I stop being messy? And when do I pretend anything but, "complete slob but fighting it?"
Brain: I AM THE CONTROLLER OF LOGIC. Also, you're fat and weak.

Me: Okay, I'll exercise.
Brain: I don't waaaaaaanna. You're sapping me of my willpower juices... besides, you need to do other stuff.
Me: Like? Listen to the cricket noises when I ask for suggestions? Sigh.

Me: I'll... learn Spanish?
Brain: Your phone is at the wrong level. You can't use apps unless it's fully charged. Also, if you fully charge your phone, I will yell at you because YOU ARE ABUSING BATTERIES AND THE PLANET.
Me: Huh.

Me: I really, really need to get to the store.
Brain: It's noon, it's too hot out. And you will make drivers feel like crap by refusing rides from them. And your hair should be wet or packed with Marilyn so sunlight can make your hair look pretty and blonde, even though it is neither and you are traitorous and conceited for thinking either. Also, you're shallow. Did I mention shallow? No girls until you've paid off ALL your debts, gotten psychologically healthy, have a great network of quality friends, and look exactly like Chris Evans, shallow person.
Me: It's after dark.
Brain: You'll need to find your safety vest and the taser/ flashlight. And wash the glitter backpack. The po-po are going to yell at you anyhow, you're just a fat meth-head thief to them, but at least you'll make that nice trucker lady happy.

Me: I should put some laundry in.
Brain: I am NOT HAPPY about how you waste your time. Also, may I point out that normal people do laundry on Sunday nights, and you are probably going to machine-block some poor, deserving single mom, and may I monologue on what an awful mother, daughter, sister, and friend you are? Dammit, I should have put those nouns in air quotes. Also, you should probably call in to work and volunteer a couple of hours. They need you.
Me: Brain, what have I told you about how we're not going to enable, including my work's crappy hiring practices, any more?
Brain: :sulking noises: I AM THE BRAIN AND I order you to go read comments on a series of articles you don't particularly care about. Four hours sounds about right.
Me: What?! I don't want to... dammit, fine.

Brain: Ugh, we really need some caffeine to start doing stuff today.
Me: Oh, thank fuck, we agree on something. I'll put some tea on.

A prediction for later this morning:
Me: I feel sleepy and will sleep.
Brain: You have things left that you want to do.
Me: Fine, I will pick an arbitrary number of these things and I will do them before I sleep.

(I really don't want to be on a "normal human" sleep schedule with my job, but because of my job schedule and the paranoia of the local cops, it behooves me to shift my schedule. Not that my brain would let me. Ceasing of the cacaphony is for closers. Brain would like to add: YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS STILL, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT.)

I love my brain, I really do, but sometimes it feels like an annoying video-game helper.

"Hey! Hey!"
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-23 12:11 am

To do

You know what I haven't done in forever? Made an ass of myself by putting my to-do today lists online!

So what I do lately is make a list of 20 things that must be accomplished, and roll 1d20 to see which one I work on. (But I'm only a fake geek, FFS...)

After 2 six-day weeks, the next two weeks will be 60-hour (okay, 57-hour, I do get lunch, thanks), but thank the Prime Mover and our scheduler, they will be long days with two days off each week. So I have 61 hours, twelve minutes to get the following accomplished:

1. Showers 1 2 3
2. Sleep and meditate 1 2 3
3. Dishes
4. Write that fic
5. Watch Rogue One (and finish that neckpiece!)
6. Laundry
7. Shop (Wal-Mart, probably)
8. Find contents of Mystery Package. Run said package to UPS store. (Hence, probably Wal-mart)
9. Figure out the RAM thing
10. Finish letter to Dad
11. Finish letter to K.
12. Call Bill
13. Write G, see if available for call
14. Write Alex ("Sorry. Lesbian.")
15. Squats, 15 sets of 50
16. Pushups, 15 sets
17. Pilates 1 2 3
18. Trim nails.
19. Write manager acknowledging one-on-one for May, June, July (YES first one since April. Good news, he will soon be down to 66 directs.)
20. Clean apartment. (Yes, I roll 1d6, having that number of rooms to work on.)

Replacement items (when something is done/ untimely for the roll):

Shop for Dad's present
Write manager reminding the items on my attendance record that need to be straightened out.

Wish me luck. 61 hours four minutes, go. Shall post finished items on LJ as comments.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-22 07:24 pm

Holy gowanna lizards, Batman

...they are giving me a disciplinary write-up for Bitch Graders low QE's.

I'm stunned, and thinking I may appeal--- getting together with some other employees and seeing what they're doing.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-22 03:15 pm

Best ska dance tunes, in your opinion

(I can Google lists just like anyone. I want YOUR opinion.)

spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-22 03:41 am

Point one (that's one half in binary notation)

Inspired by some 'splainy griping, I'm trying to spend a few minutes each day trying to gender myself spiritually male, from the core in and outward again, just to see what it feels like.

Fucking trip, I tell you what. Not sure if I like it or not.

Don't know if I'll ever be able to truly wrap my head around nb-ness, though.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-20 05:24 pm

You can't spell "ooh, cake," without "O," and"K"

This was a long, long entry.

It boils down to: when I don't eat, I become seriously not okay.

I ate. Things are better now.

I find it kind of scary that I let myself not-eat. There are Reasons, and there are reasons, and there are excuses.

I am glad to be feeling okay now.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-20 03:00 pm

One good thing...

Arg, work is too soon.

Read more... )
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-18 12:38 am


spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-16 01:48 pm

One day mooooooore

I do not love my "six days on, one day off," schedule. I have 24 hours, 3 minutes to GET ALL THE THINGS DONE, and what I really want to do is luxuriate in the simple, blissful luxury of not having to bite back, "Look, mate, if you keep trying to control this conversation, it's going to be twice as long," write Black Mirror fanfic, and binge Netflix.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-14 03:06 pm

The dialogue

ME: Okay, body, we only did half our push-ups and almost none of our squats yesterday. We have 20 minutes until work, let's make it count.

spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-14 03:55 am

Not a roller-derby kinda gal...

...sorry. Hate feeling physically attacked, never been great at roller-skating (I think there are sensory issues at play. I hate feeling the vibrations in my legs and hearing the wheels through my body). Also, I find burlesque and strip clubs weirdly off my resonant frequency. I am the worst at womanning.

However, were I into such a thing, I would call myself either "Sidonie Vicious," or "Chick Norris."
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-14 02:35 am

Poetry I liked.

I know the feel, Marge. Now stop being a TERF, you look silly.


"Always Unsuitable"

She wore little teeth of pearls around her neck.
They were grinning politely and evenly at me.
Unsuitable they smirked. It is true

I look a stuffed turkey in a suit. Breasts
too big for the silhouette. She knew
at once that we had sex, lots of it

as if I had strolled into her diningroom
in a dirty negligee smelling gamy
smelling fishy and sporting a strawberry

on my neck. I could never charm
the mothers, although the fathers ogled
me. I was exactly what mothers had warned

their sons against. I was quicksand
I was trouble in the afternoon. I was
the alley cat you don't bring home.

I was the dirty book you don't leave out
for your mother to see. I was the center-
fold you masturbate with then discard.

Where I came from, the nights I had wandered
and survived, scared them, and where
I would go they never imagined.

Ah, what you wanted for your sons
were little ladies hatched from the eggs
of pearls like pink and silver lizards

cool, well behaved and impervious
to desire and weather alike. Mostly
that's who they married and left.

Oh, mamas, I would have been your friend.
I would have cooked for you and held you.
I might have rattled the windows

of your sorry marriages, but I would
have loved you better than you know
how to love yourselves, bitter sisters.

- Marge Piercy

ETA: honey, never date someone who makes you feel less-than, a charity case. And make no mistake: I don't BLAME my spouses' mothers for not liking me...
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-09 04:29 pm

Maybe it's the computer?

The library says there is a problem with my card, and I cannot check out new books online and they're not open until tomorrow and I hate it.

My work e-mail says that my password or sign-in is not working. Work says, "Uh, don't know."

My bank login button is just acting like it's a graphical element.

Same thing happens on my phone.

spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-09 05:31 am

Project Idea

"False Rape Reports:" images/ video clips of rape survivors saying the untrue things their rapists/ their friends and family/ authority figures say that protect rapists and rape culture while hurting the victim.
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-09 02:07 am

Five good things about today

I know it's banal, darlings, but it seems to be working. Combined with 10-20 minutes of sunbathing a day, this may be the sanest I remember feeling, ever.

Read more... )
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-08 03:13 am

A bit of that going 'round

A- Age: ~46
B- Biggest Fear: collapse of civilization
C- Current Time: 3:14 cst
D- Drink you last had: water
E- Easiest Person to Talk to: Bill
F- Favorite Song: "Song of the Knife," Anne Lister
G- Ghosts, are they real: it depends upon what one means... by "ghosts," by "real," by "they." Real enough to make money off of is real enough for me, a tightwad.
H- Hometown: Shreveport, LA, I suppose, or Chicago.
I- In love with: the written word.
J- Jealous of: cities with good public transportation.
K- Killed Someone? No.
L- Last time you cried? Not your business.
M- Middle Name: Elizabeth
N- Number of Siblings: 0, 3, 7, 9, or 19, depending upon how one counts. I usually count three. I knew people who had gotten shirty with me for counting my half-siblings, and I somehow feel those people would also sniff at me for NOT counting my late stepfather's children, with whom I do not keep in contact, or my current stepsiblings, whom I have not met, because some people will find any reason to criticize.
O- One Wish: that children no longer suffer for their parents' stupidity, except in ways that make them better human beings or artists.
P- Person who you last called: Mike
Q- Question you're always asked: "Do you want a ride? Are you okay? Are you sure?"
R- Reason to smile: Does one need a reason?
S- Song last sang: "Run the World"
T- Time you woke up: 12:49
U- Underwear Color: black
V- Vacation Destination: Boulder, I think.
W- Worst Habit: blogging
X- X-Rays you've had: dental and other head.
Y- Your favorite food: I have to chose?
Z- Zodiac Sign: Virgo/ Pig
spikethemuffin: (Default)
2017-07-08 02:29 am

About to run and print a story for workshop

Littlest Zombie or Revolt of the Commuting Gods?