Jun. 24th, 2017

spikethemuffin: (Default)
Why do dogs
Shit upon the ground
Every time
He's around?

Just like me,
They long to be
Far away...

Why do stars
Shriek from out their spheres,
Every time he appears?

Just like me,
They long to be
Far away.

On the day that I met him,
My angel fled my shoulder
And the devil palmed his face and made a moue.
He will not shut up or take a hint
And murder's so illegal tell me... what's a girl to do?

And that's why
Smiles do not reach eyes
Till it's time
For goodbyes.
Just like me,
They long to be
Far away.

(Unlike my last couple catty filks, this is not dedicated to anyone particular, and is only gendered because the person bitching about Obama usually presents as male.)
spikethemuffin: (Default)
...you realize there is probably a pornographic parody out there of Alice in Wonderland that not only does not have Alice looking archly at the camera and murmuring, "Curiouser and curiouser," but lacks even a broken condom and the phrase, "But it was best butter"?
spikethemuffin: (Default)
This fitness plan thing says my goal is 2200 kcal of activity per day. I... just don't know how I can do that, without finding some way to count my calories from exercise that doesn't "count." I can walk 5.5 hours a day, I guess... (No, I really can't. Fine, I walk/ jog 5k about every other day, but it's nowhere near the same thing. Ugh, FINE, I just don't WANT to walk 5.5 hours a day.) (Okay, 1200 of that is covered by 9+ hours at a desk, but... man, can I whine again? Desk time / > time in a plank.)

OTOH, if burning 2200 calories a day is what it takes to lose 5 lbs in a year (the goal I've been stuck with), then I finally get why I'm not losing weight...

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