Apr. 8th, 2017

spikethemuffin: (Default)
When I go through the list of nice things people say about me, the word that comes up most often is kind. That baffles me. I maybe used to think of myself as kind, but I was deluded. I am not and was never kind. I wanted to be, so desperately, and that is why I let myself believe it, but... there is never enough to give, you know?

On the other hand, when I gave the requisite short, self-mocking laugh given to discovering unpleasant things about myself, I was actually cooking chicken, because I had run out of catfood, and the strays I feed needed to eat something while I waited to go to the store. I don't want a tombstone, but that would be an epitaph I'd like: "Laura Lawlor Hewitt, 1971-2059: Not kind, but occasionally nice to cats."

Also posted to LJ.

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spikethemuffin

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