Apr. 6th, 2017

spikethemuffin: (Gardening)
Remember Gives-Christianity-a-Bad-Name Roommate? Cat-poisoning, jewelry-vanishing, rent-not-forthcoming, telling-me-my-mother-obviously-doesn't-love-me-anymore, serial-Christian-adulterer-priest-who-is-too-sexually-mature-to-enjoy-vibrators, idolizes-Dolores-Umbridge-and-consciously-imitated-her-mannerisms, somehow-managed-to-get-kicked-out-of-the-Episcopalian-Church roommate?

She came up in conversation today, and I could not resist the temptation to Google her.

The "movement" she started is dressing itself up, literally (wearing habits, wimples, collars, and titles and using Latin mottos and imagery) as a radical offshoot of Catholicism. Her once-boyfriend, the "Reverend Father," is attacking Steve Bannon as a Satan worshipper and Fnordish conspiracy master and making Prisma art of our current President, spittle flying from his lips, captioned by quotes from Mussolini and Hitler. The cover of the current issue of the magazine they started together is just... splashed blood. Which, sure, pascal imagery, but when you are using that sort of stuff, context (like bunches of hysterical can be super-important. She has, naturally, changed her name again, first, last, and middle, but she does that every time she has to get herself re-ordained, about every two to seven years.

She looks frightened. But again, that could be context. Hard to look calm, surrounded by imagery of screaming dictators and forensic blood sprays. Or, you know, if you do look calm in that context, and you aren't standing with a lighted match next to an empty can of gasoline, then you're a very worrying person indeed (she's worrying, but, like a vampire, she has little power unless you invite her in... or your husband does). Once-boyfriend Photoshops her until she looks like she is an effigy painted in grocery-store icing...

Which is neither here nor there, but... interesting. I am glad to be free, tonight and every night.

I also think that if you are going to be making sincere political efforts, maybe have a thought as to whether your efforts make your side of the argument look silly. Yes, I know I'm tone-policing, but this guy is reflecting better upon his opposition than his... huh. Looks like he doesn't have a lot of allies. Huh.
spikethemuffin: (Gardening)
Last night, I had that recurring dream, one that hasn't been back for literally years: I have moved back in with my mother and ex-stepfather, and they are furious with me, and I don't know why. (Maybe because I recognize that my mother's ex-husband was an abusive prick, and Mom refused to admit it to herself, even as she suffered his outrages and frank insanity, and that made her a wee bit testy?)

They were kicking me out. It was going to be a deadline thing, you know, "You have x months, and on this date, you are no longer living here," but I pissed them off somehow, and "two and a half months" turned into "tonight." And in my dream, I had my exact current account balance--- $14.33--- and the same number of local friends and resources under the "other" category I have now--- zero. The REALLY terrifying thing was Mom saying, "You'll come back." Not only as if it were my idea to leave in the first place, but... I felt she implied that I would be living with her again, four times. So far, I've moved back in with my mother twice... a repeat is not what either of us would want.

I am feeling pretty vulnerable right now. I have a job, but no emergency fund. If I were fired today, I'd have six weeks to find a new position (two weeks' notice and three weeks of paid vacation saved, plus a one-week delay on paycheck. Plus return on deposit of equipment, but, meh, that buys me maybe four days.) Not a great window, given that the rule of thumb is, "Expect to spend one week of looking for work for every $1k per annum of salary," and I am struggling to make it on $20k/ year. (This would be FREAKING RICH except for the debt I accumulated over three years of health-based un- and under-employment. At least I have paid for debt insurance on the car loan, so the kids' car would be protected if I lose my job. It's technically a bad bargain, but that small peace of mind is well worth the buck-or-so per month.) And so much could go wrong! If I miss five days of work without a doctor's note, I'm fired. If there is an extended Internet outage at my home, I'm fired. If I'm taken off the RL account, I'm fired. If my company goes out of business, I'm fired. If my computer fries itself, I'm fired.

I must get working on a safety net.

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