Mar. 12th, 2017

spikethemuffin: (Gardening)
Apparently, people do talk this way: at mostly random, when I reacted to the location of the house the caller had bought, rather than his allusions to a sizable trust fund (if you want to impress me, bank account commas are not the way to go), the caller started talking about his childhood with the Hell's Angels. I reiterated my request for his contact information, and remarked, truthfully, that I mostly knew the Angel's through their reputation for charitable work.

The caller then felt the need to turn the conversation to, and I quote directly and do not embellish: "Well, you have to understand about the Hell's Angels: if you act like a slut, you'll be treated like a slut. If you act like a princess, we'll treat you like a princess, and if you're a house mouse, we'll pass ya around, all have a turn. But no need to be frightened if you're an okay person."

Let me re-iterate: this man just made a soft rape threat at me and my business's staff. Because I am doing my job and trying to be quiet and decent and professional.

[And then there's you, who thinks, "Oh, she's over-reacting, she was just told that her type gets tagged for a night of fun group sex!" No. You did not hear this man's voice. He may not have meant me, specifically, but he was definitely letting me know what women should expect, should they fall outside certain behavioral lines, and he was definitely implying, "Whether they want it or not," in a manner that we used to refer to as "that's not a threat, it's a promise," in grade school. And seriously, man, fuck. you. for thinking that I'm being a ninny. If my gut were telling me that he was not joking about smoking in the room or figuring out a way to leave the hotel without paying, you'd nod and say, "Yeah, trust your gut." But because rape is not a "real" crime, because you, to your credit, are not a rapist and can't really comprehend the mindset thereof, you think I'm being stupid and unprofessional and hysterical and giving women a bad name. And the worst part? If I make a note on the reservation: "Super-sketchy. Make sure you believe the maids and make sure his traveling companion is in a condition to give consent/ let you know if she needs the police called," I would the one who was the problem.]

And I think that this is the failure of the American center, such as they are: not to fail to empathize with the working man's fear (I use the gendered term advisedly), not a puppylike over-eagerness to compromise with the unreasonable, just that it is beyond their comprehension that good people (I may not be a good person, but I damn sure hit all the checkboxes for the same, professionally speaking) can get talked to this way without inviting it, by people they'd sit with at a barbecue. No refugee would run from other people, who are inherently reasonable and kind! No-one will DIE because of lack of affordable healthcare, how absurd, there is always money to be had if you look hard enough! If have an unwanted pregnancy, your family and community will support you, and unwanted pregnancies are just not possible within the confines of marriage. You should just shake rape threats off if they are too far away to hurt you, stop being a silly, sticks and stones may break your bones but fighting off flashbacks is fun and empowering if you just roll with it! Etc. Etc. Etc.

I think it's time for bed now. Today... today took a lot out of me.

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spikethemuffin

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